There is something to be said for having girlfriends. It has been scientifically proven that women need other women around; it's not just a casual thing. Women really do need other women around to help us keep our lives from spiraling out of control. Get more than two women together and you have a sisterhood, a pack of she-wolves who protect one another, celebrate each other's triumphs, console each other, grieve with each other, fight with each other. It's instinct, pure and simple. Women know that there is strength in numbers, so that's why we hang with our chick-pack. And also why we go to the bathroom together at bars. Instinct.
When I look at my life, I see a clear preference of my friends. I always gravitate toward other strong women. Sure, I've had my share of guy-friends, we all need them, and having guy friends serves a great purpose (built in body guard, general repairman, drunken hook-up). Some of us even marry our guy friends- lucky girls :) But if you're a woman, take a look back at who you've spent most of your life with. It's other women. Your mom, your sister, your best friend. These women are our pack.
I keep referencing a "pack" mentality because I think there is some truth to it. When you think about a family or a clan or whatever you want to call it, the center of that clan is always a woman. A mother, usually. Men say they are the head of the clan, and sure, they can be. They bring home the bacon, the paycheck, the hunt, whatever. But the woman is always the one who keeps the family together and running smoothly. She is the reason the family can continue. What a powerful thought!
Our girlfriends are the reason we can continue. I truly believe that. I know that there have been so many times in my life where I just simply couldn't go on. Life hurt so much that I didn't want to shoulder the burden anymore. But my best friends have always been there to shoulder it for me for a while, until I could get back on my feet and keep on. That's what girlfriends are for.
My very best friend Lisa, over at
If Only Life Were A Movie says that girlfriends are our mirrors, that they tell us the truth no matter how painful, and it's true. Lisa never sugarcoats things for me, and she tells it like it is- and sometimes that is painful to hear. But it's what I need to hear, and she knows this. True girlfriends don't say things to be malicious- they tell us what we need to hear because we NEED to hear it.
True girlfriends stick with us when the rest of the world decides not to. My dear friend Kat over at
Tiers of Joy is my sorority sister. When we first met, we intimidated each other because we're such strong personalities. However, the more I got to know her, the more I saw myself in her- she is another mirror. Our friendship was born in the "bonds of sisterhood", but has outlasted the "sisterhood". When I had a falling out with a member of the sorority and the majority of the sisters sided with my former friend, Kat stayed by me, and never faltered. Though we both lament the loss of our closenesss with our sorority, our friendship is stronger because of this hardship. And even though Kat lives two time zones away, we're still close. Sometimes the closest friend is one who is far away. Lisa is the same way. She lives three hours from me, but whenever I see her, it's like I just saw her yesterday. There's no exhilarating "Hi how are you I've missed you!" or a tearful goodbye with us. I know I'll see her again soon, and talk to her even sooner. She's a text-message fiend.
My sister Shelley, who writes the blog
Life of a Water Baby is also my girlfriend, by default I suppose. But just because she's my sister doesn't mean she's always been my friend. We've had our ups and downs, but now that we are older and wiser, her friendship is important to me not because we're blood, but because we genuinely like one another! And who else can you laugh with about things from childhood than with your own sister?
It's always nice to add new friends to the pack. A lot of the girls I consider great friends are ones I've met within the last two years. Friends from grad school, friends who resurfaced after college, etc. It's important to let the pack evolve and change and grow.
I've had girlfriends come and go. These women have left impressions on my life that have shaped who I am. I miss them all, but I understand that they had a purpose in my life, and having accomplished that, they moved on.
I know this post has waxed sappy. I don't normally do this. I'm not one to be super sentimental because normally I don't feel a gushy, saccharine love for my best friends. I adore them, but it's a comfortable affection that doesn't need to be expressed because it just IS.
I guess my point with this is that we should celebrate our friendships with the women in our lives. They are our greatest supporters. And think about this: if you have a group full of strong, successful, great women, then you must be too, because our girlfriends are our mirrors. They show us what we are, and what we can be.
Nay
