Friday will be a sad day for me. It's the last day of my student teaching, and I'm leaving my kids. I'm sort of torn between emotions: sadness and happiness.
You know what, I'm not going to lie to myself. I'm not happy to return to Flat Rock. I really can't stand my job and I've really enjoyed being with my third graders from student teaching. I've actually used some of the techniques I've learned at Mary Baldwin, and I've been able to try out my teaching wings. Going back to Flat Rock means that I have to relinquish all authority and be an assistant again. Instead of making decisions and planning, I go back to being a coat rack and a babysitter. It sucks and I am NOT happy about it.
Sure, I'm happy to be giving my cooperating teacher her class back. I can't say I've been thrilled with her class 100% of the time, but for the most part, I've really enjoyed myself and I will miss the kids and her. I just hate going back to Flat Rock. I'll be the most educated assistant there and that just grates my nerves. Here I am with a Masters degree, doing lunch duty and parent pick-up. Grr.
Next year. Next year I'll have my own classroom. And no, don't give me any of that bullshit "You should be thankful you have a job." How can I be thankful for a job I hate. Oh go ahead and say it- you're an ungrateful bitch, Nay. Yep. Sure am. I just can't justify settling for something less than I deserve or have earned.
Whew. It feels good to get that out of my system. Thanks for letting me vent.
Frustratedly yours,
Nay
I left you something on my blog! XO
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