Oh sweet Jesus.
For a lot of us, the holidays are our time to shine. It's the time of year that we deck our halls, bring out the fancy dishes, and make sure we're dressed to the nines. What a glorious time of year! It's also the time of year that families do the most fighting, the most despicable things, and forget their manners. Which is exactly what this post is all about. Manners.
Manners are a forgotten art in today's society. While most people believe in manners, they don't necessarily practice what they preach. This is understandable because many of our new creature comforts (email, Facebook, etc) have blurred the communication lines, and have created their own etiquette or made previous mores obsolete. It's time to brush up on our manners, people!
And what better time of year than at the holidays when our calendars dictate our lives, and thus, our social graces.
Brush up on your manners at:
A Holiday Open House or House Party
What to give:
Not flowers. They may not go with the look of the party, but the host would feel obligated to put them out. Instead, try a low-maintenance potted plant, which will last beyond the holiday season. A pail full of shiny red apples or a box of small, sweet clementines would be just divine!
RSVP, for God's sake. Even for a casual event, the host needs to plan how much food and drink to get.
Make an effort to mingle, so the host doesn't feel she has to entertain you. Don't take the term "open house" literally. Keep to the areas clearly decorated for the party.
How to dress: A crowded party can get hot. To stay comfortable, make sure the layer closest to your skin is something lightweight. A colorful shawl adds festive flair and is easier than a sweater to put on and take off as necessary.
Coming and going: Showing up anytime from five minutes after the designated start time to 30 minutes before the stated finish is OK.
How to follow up: Send a thank-you note, and if you have talked to the host about something in particular―a DVD she might like, for instance―send that along, too.
The Office Holiday Party
What to give:
Remember the classroom rule: If you don't have gifts for everyone, don't hand them out in front of everyone. If you're giving presents to only some of your coworkers, do so at another time.
What to do:
Introduce yourself to the company bigwigs. If they seem busy, just add that you enjoy working there, and move on. Listen more than you speak. Avoid conversations about politics or religion with coworkers you don't know well. Consider sticking to club soda. Nobody's the talk of the office for eating too many cheese puffs, but anyone who gets looped is discussed forever.
How to dress: Upgrade your normal office look. Accessorize a suit with an evening handbag and pumps. If you normally wear pants, a black skirt and a twinset should do the trick.
Coming and going: Don't be fashionably late; arrive no more than 10 minutes after the start time. Leave when you're ready- no one is watching the door and you don't have to clock out.
How to follow up: If someone took trouble to plan the party, a thank-you note would be thoughtful.
New Years Eve Bash
What to give:
A morning-after basket of teas and coffee, muffins or scones, and some aspirin.
A desk calendar and a selection of cards for birthdays, anniversaries, and other happy occasions in the new year.
What to do: The best way to show your appreciation for being invited is to get into the spirit of the party. If it's a masquerade, wear a mask. If the host wants everyone to wear sparkly party hats and boas, swallow your pride.How to dress: In cold, dry winter weather, elegant fabrics such as silk are prone to static cling. To maintain a flowing look, run a wire hanger over your clothes to remove the electric charge.
Coming and going: Above all, avoid arriving early. For a cocktail party, your host probably expects you no later than an hour after the start time. If you're not sure when to leave, look for these signs: music turned down or up (to make talking more difficult); lights turned up; bar closed; food no longer being replenished; the host with her shoes off, rubbing her feet.
How to follow up: Send a thank-you note. If you took digital photos, e-mail a few, but send a handwritten note, too.
And for Heaven's sake- WRITE THANK YOU NOTES FOR EVERYTHING. No matter how small or insignificant you think it may be, writing a handwritten thank you note is more gratifying than any cheap bottle of wine you bring to the party.
Mind your manners, friends.
Nay
Good advice! I didn't know that about the clothes hanger thing. Hopefully I'll get to go to my first work Christmas party this year, so I'll be sure to follow your rules :)
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